He Liveth Still [or, Put to Rest Speculation]
How do you respond to a long-outdated email, neglected like so many other things during the school year, sent by concerned grandparents? Answer: lyrical inspiration…
This is none else than the inspirational tale
Of an email which nearly failed
Sadly, to complete circulation
And put to rest wild and undue speculation
Concerning a certain well-meaning patron
Not, however, given to over-communication
Being as he is confined to a life of hard labor
(That is to books, and lectures, and paper,)
His good grandparents, in deep concern
Wrote an epistle to discern
The awful state which was ensuing
Their grandson and consuming
His life, a poor and gruesome fate
Concluded many, when the hour drew late
Rumors and speculations abounded
Greedy siblings his possessions divided
And when no reply was forthcoming
Cries and wails were heard in mourning
But hark! When all seemed despairing:
Projects were finished!
Deadlines were met!
Homework completed!
Procrastination repressed!
And the email lives! No more is it lost
Deep in the clutches of a cluttered in-box
In fully good health, the prodigal taps a reply
Sipping on coffee, which he has come by
Honestly, thanks to a generous donation
(Which, by the way, deserves admiration)
And hereby sends you his thanks, and moreover
Proof of existence, which can’t be glossed over
For chances of further survival is bleak
Due to threat of examinations, arriving in two weeks
And if God deems to stay their vicious attack
His kind roommates have offered to pick up the slack
But before he goes down in glorious battle
He feels it his duty to surface, and prattle
A bit, taking respite to thank his dear benefactors
Grateful for patience, thankful for prayers
As always, hoping to be reunited
Unless, of course, school his fate has decided
But until then he wishes his love to send…
And with that
this belated reply
does hereby
come to an end.